This blog is about as random as its title. I shall post thoughts, ideas, rants, raves, etc. i f you do not like these things then why are you even on a blog website? There will be language if you don't like it don't read it.I don't follow a spacific timeline i hope to write often as it seems writing is a good way to let off steam so maybe 2 times a week or more. Thank you have a wonderful day.
Monday, November 29, 2010
Unconditional....what exactly does this word mean?
with no conditions or limitations: complete or guaranteed, with no conditions, limitations, or provisos attached
That's right folks. Complete and guaranteed. No conditions or limitations. I have recently looked at my life and the people in it. My ex for example had limitations and had conditions for this apparent love we had though I had none...I look at someone who I thought of as another parent someone who for years had my back and because I fell in love there are now limitations for the conditions of us seeing one another if the person in question is with me...The next person is a friend I have known for so long it is ridiculous, but apparently we have to talk instead of her just being supportive completely and realizing I am happy and I haven't been for a long time..for fucks sake I have lost weight because I am less stressed and someone actually notices and treats me right. This isn't unconditional friendship even though it should be because to these people I gave them everything....I loved without question or asking for anything after being cheated on....I worked my ass off for free because they needed me and I love to work with them and I cleaned homes I didn't have to because I wanted to do something nice for them....I back them up on any decision because that is what a true friend does and when Shit! hit the fan I picked up pieces and was there to listen...that is what unconditional is and even now I will do all these things and drop everything no questions asked because it is who I am...
Now...I have fallen in love with someone who asks of me not a thing...who does things just because...who would give me the world if it was possible....and he really asks nothing...NOTHING!....in return. Just as I ask nothing of him...we are now apart of each other....the halves to a whole....and damn it I am so happy so damn all the rest who I have unconditionally loved and done shit for...damn them all...I deserve for once to be happy and I am going to be....I have earned new friends along the way now and I don't understand how they can give me unconditional love, support, and understanding where my oldest and most trusted are exiling and persecuting me....I feel like I am in the Salem which trials for fucks sake...but obviously because everyone has nothing better to do they need someone to occupy their time and I fit the bill because I am compliant and make up excuses for their behavior...like I made excuses for the men in my past relationship about them putting their hands on me.
Well thank you to those of you who UNCONDITIONALLY! love me and are here for me thank you and to those who are blinded at the moment ...know I pray for you more then I pray for myself and I do not care to who I pray for just to the one that will listen...