Monday, March 28, 2011


Okay so recently some events between unnamed parties happened and it caused one party to feel bad and the other party apologized and all was good... at least that what one party tolled the other. IT WAS A GOD DAMN LIE!!!! And on top of that they asked so happy and laughing "Are you coming over?"....well needless to say the other party couldn't only to find out later that the 1st party called them out by NAME on a public forum.

Mature people do not name people on a public forum after telling the other person we are cool and laughing and inviting them over. It is shady and really fucked up. Especially if that person cried and cried and felt horrible. I the goal was to make a point it was made razor sharp.

Just as a small note when you retaliate you become the thing you hate. So if you go and torture and call out or hurt and embarrass the person who did that to you and you knew it was unintentional or otherwise you become that person. Further more it is nothing but a slap in the face and makes you look like a cold unfeeling douche bag and makes you more then unbelievable by apologizing and asking the stupid questions like "Are you mad at me?" The answer is NO I AM NOT FUCKING MAD AT YOU I AM DISAPPOINTED AND NOW THINK OF YOU AS NOT FUCKING WORTH IT AND THAT YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A PETULANT CHILD WHO IS A RIDICULOUS EXCUSE FOR A FRIEND!



Monday, November 29, 2010


Unconditional....what exactly does this word mean?

with no conditions or limitations: complete or guaranteed, with no conditions, limitations, or provisos attached
"unconditional love"
That's right folks. Complete and guaranteed. No conditions or limitations. I have recently looked at my life and the people in it. My ex for example had limitations and had conditions for this apparent love we had though I had none...I look at someone who I thought of as another parent someone who for years had my back and because I fell in love there are now limitations for the conditions of us seeing one another if the person in question is with me...The next person is a friend I have known for so long it is ridiculous, but apparently we have to talk instead of her just being supportive completely and realizing I am happy and I haven't been for a long time..for fucks sake I have lost weight because I am less stressed and someone actually notices and treats me right. This isn't unconditional friendship even though it should be because to these people I gave them everything....I loved without question or asking for anything after being cheated on....I worked my ass off for free because they needed me and I love to work with them and I cleaned homes I didn't have to because I wanted to do something nice for them....I back them up on any decision because that is what a true friend does and when Shit! hit the fan I picked up pieces and was there to listen...that is what unconditional is and even now I will do all these things and drop everything no questions asked because it is who I am...
Now...I have fallen in love with someone who asks of me not a thing...who does things just because...who would give me the world if it was possible....and he really asks nothing...NOTHING! return. Just as I ask nothing of him...we are now apart of each other....the halves to a whole....and damn it I am so happy so damn all the rest who I have unconditionally loved and done shit for...damn them all...I deserve for once to be happy and I am going to be....I have earned new friends along the way now and I don't understand how they can give me unconditional love, support, and understanding where my oldest and most trusted are exiling and persecuting me....I feel like I am in the Salem which trials for fucks sake...but obviously because everyone has nothing better to do they need someone to occupy their time and I fit the bill because I am compliant and make up excuses for their I made excuses for the men in my past relationship about them putting their hands on me.
Well thank you to those of you who UNCONDITIONALLY! love me and are here for me thank you and to those who are blinded at the moment ...know I pray for you more then I pray for myself and I do not care to who I pray for just to the one that will listen...

Love with a Micro Fusion Cherry On Top,

Thursday, November 18, 2010


Okay so last night I was having an 'adventure' we will say. In this adventure the pirate I was traveling with was a cut throat brandy buccaneer brandishing his mighty blade. Well needless to say in this adventure I am the sea wench who has captured this rouge pirates heart. So here we go...

 He came to the tavern where she worked and stole her away to his ship. When she came to from a deep sleep he was there. Wooing her, wanting her, hunger driven...the seas had not been kind to long without the warmth of another he'd been. They struggled for power. She was falling in love, but didn't want to make this easy for him. As they rolled around trying to find common ground she stopped and looked at him. Really Really looked at him and discovered he was beautiful, strong, rough....a rouge. She let this tempest roll over her till the dawn broke through the shuttered window of the captains quarters.  The captain had already awoke dressing in front of his ornate mirrors before turning round eyes intense and said without skipping a beat...You're an animal....then pointed to the bruises and scratches the wench had left upon his olive skin....She was harsher then the sea and as loving as the warm breeze upon the seas...

So from this adventure I have learned I am a FUCKING ANIMAL! Do I take this as an insult or a compliment...well I am not sure....and if I am an animal..what kind? Cat? Parana? Alligator? Gerbil!? Hm so many unanswered trivial questions. Oh well. This wench knows how to handle her rouge pirate.

Love with a Micro Fusion Cherry On Top,

Monday, November 8, 2010

Missing and Loving

I am beginning to realize what loving someone can do to you when they aren't around. I  have been with a good friend of mine for 5 whole days away from home and the rest of the world. Saw in those 5 days anger, irritation, love, joy, pain....and sleeping soundly and safely in that persons arms can change your whole perspective of life. Every bit of pain ebbs away you feel so safe and so unconditionally loved you could die honest to god happy. Tonight I am night I am alone....I miss that security.

To finally know honest love and attention without any form of wanting anything in return. I want to cry and say take everything away just give me those days again for the rest of my life. Love is when your heart aches every time they look at you with any means of irritation and wanting to tell them your sorry 100 times though its not necessary.Love is feeling confused at how to be and what to do when they smile at you and your heart stops at those 3 perfect lil words. Then missing them is exactly how I feel. Your hearts in a shredder...your worried every second they aren't there...and you missed them the 10 minutes before you knew they were leaving. Put that with love and only a telephone and you have a war in your heart that only a few understand. I miss much.

So tonight to anyone who even glances here...hold the ones you live tight because one day your gunna roll over or walk through the door and they could be gone or far far away. Love while you can... miss them every moment you blink your eyes because just like a dream its only an eye open away from coming back and realize you lost it all with no recollection.

Love with a Micro Fusion Cherry On Top,

Saturday, October 30, 2010


Okay so do to the season I have decided to express my love for the undead. Zombies are absolutely amazing. Their second deaths make me laugh and their sheer ability to take many many forms like in left for dead and house of the dead or the always enjoyable Shaun of the dead. Lucky for me Halloween has been able to get me my zombie fix. I must say though...these cutesy zombies in stores to make kids yeah no if a fucking zombie came to them and they laughed they'd be eatin. I will stick to teaching my kid to shoot for the head in a zombie Apocalypse thanks. Which leads me to my next question....double barrel or M16? I like the shotgun personally but hey that's just me. Well I am off to a Halloween party and to watch zombie land. Happy Halloween Bitches!

Love with a Micro Fusion Cherry
on Top,


Sunday, October 24, 2010


 Today is a happier posting do to the fact that I have received a special gift. Tis a ring with a symbol. upon examining this very simple trinket i have come to realize in life symbols are everywhere big and small. Anything from traffic signals to the classic Oh My God! Did that guy just flip me off!? The symbol on this ring I think means Love, friendship, and loyalty. All very, very, important, but it was also given to me as a symbol of pull me out of my own dark thoughts and let me know someone has me and isn't letting me go. The wonderful and beautiful person who gave me this is such a dear amazing friend and I neglected to tell him I have given him a symbol as well without his see symbols aren't always as blunt and forward as big fucking heart that says I love you...what I gave as a symbol was simple artwork to show what I saw in him and what he is to me as a symbol of my own affections. So symbols are around us everywhere and guys you don't need the giant fucking heart with the I love you...sometimes it really is as simple as giving a ring or something dear to you no matter how stupid it may seem at the time to really show how much you care. I know this ring hasn't left my friends person in a long time and for him to physically and willingly pass it to me weather it be always or for a time that is short I will always know that though it is carries more weight then any other symbol someone can give to one person.

Love with a Micro Fusion Cherry On Top,

Friday, October 22, 2010

Leave shit be!

 So today was one of those days where it started off great then gradually got worse. Woke up tired and crabby. Went grocery shopping which took ages, but I was with a fantastic friend so It wasn't quite terrible. Then went to a show at a local made me was amazing...but it made me cry. Then shit hit the fan. People! Fucking people who have no clue what the fuck is going on in their own lives so they speak in mother fucking code building up the accusations and then when you finally have had it and you snap at them...they tell what was wrong, you explain it and then they feel you are the one overreacting and making it this huge cluster fuck of a mess. It is simply the stupidest thing because these people know exactly what they are doing they may say they love you, but honestly would you intentionally smother, lecture, and then make someone you love feel like they are the fucking reason their life is shit? These are the people that need to learn to let shit be... just leave it the fuck alone. Unless you are following them around and being a fucking nosey ass spy there is no way you could possibly comprehend what the fuck is going on! It isn't mine or anyone else's fucking fault your life's going to shit and when others try to help you...except the help do not shove them away do not be cruel to the only one whose been there and certainly have respect for all those involved!

 On a small note I love people who spout shit about loving and caring for someone , but then when they cry and fall apart into a tiny ball and are left at a friends shutting down everything in their lives and feeling like they wanna just die, try to tell them well your life isn't the only one falling apart....well wooptie fucking do assholes you say shit that you know will hurt someone and then when you have broken them you spout that shit...yeah no...FUCK YOU! It isn't cool doesn't fix your life and damages the only people you got left in your life so yet again...LEAVE SHIT BE!

Love with a Micro fusion Cherry On Top,